Ugly Americans

I remember seeing parts of this a few years back but a new and enhanced version came into my mailbox so rather than "pass it along" to everyone on my e-mail list I thought I'd just post it here.  A little balm for the patriotic soul. I honstly couldn't tell you whether it's fact-checked, urban legend or true.  Couldn't really give a damn either for that matter, because they're good stories either way.  



Hearing Pins Drop...

When in England, at a fairly large 
conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq  were just an example of empire building by George  Bush.

He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders.

The only 
amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'

You could have  heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There  was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.  During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the  room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A  Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers  have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.
 
We have eleven such ships; how 
many does France have?'

You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A  U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking  French?'

Without 
hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a  pin drop.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND

       THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.  "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.  Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.  "Then you should know enough to have your passport  ready."

The American said, ''The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" 

The  American Senior gave the 
Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

 

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