From the Mailbox
just for fun...
Three jewels from my inbox...
The Dead Horse
hat tip: Red via Ternce
Chuck in Colorado bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry , but I have some bad news.. the horse died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"
Chuck said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He ' s the one who figured out how this "bail-out" is going to work.
ATTENTION GOLFERS:
hat tip / Jan in Ohio
The Obama Administration has advised that MAJOR rule changes to the game of golf is forthcoming; this may occur sometime after April 4th.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten now. Here are a couple of basic changes....
Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increase by 35%
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
- above 18 will play for free and even get a check from the club/course played
The $ amount put in for bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 10, an additional $10
-between 11 and 18, no additional amount
-above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot, and you do not even have to
play.
The term “gimme putt” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:
-handicaps below 10, no entitlements
-handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
-handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to ever putt, just pick it up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness in scoring so that the final scores of all players will be about the same.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie and/or six pars, any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player making the birdie or par, can that Player begin to count his score again.
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps 18 and above.
This is intended to "redistribute" the success of winning by making sure that in every competition the above 18 handicap players will post only "net score" against every other player's gross score.
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must be about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability..
Texas A & M contest
Hat tip / Geri and Howard
Sometimes you are encouraged about our country's future when you see
something like this.
Specifically, there is an annual contest at Texas A&M
University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary
term.
This year's term was "Political Correctness."
The winner wrote:
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a
delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous
mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
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